Joe Biden Refuses to Have His Head Examined as Democrats Panic

It’s clear to everyone who watched the first presidential debate that Joe Biden needs to have his head examined. He flat out refuses to take a cognitive test because everyone knows he’d flunk. Joe’s handlers appear peacefully illiterate to the writing on the wall. They can’t read the 18 foot high flaming letters spelling out to all of America’s enemies that Joe’s only lucid from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and his staff cover it up. Panic stricken Democrat donors are frantically trying to draft Michelle Obama as his replacement. Mike continues to insist it’s never going to happen, which only means they haven’t made the right deal yet.

No test for Joe Biden

There’s absolutely no reason for Joe Biden to have a cognitive test. Everyone can see for themselves exactly how sharp Joe is. Karine Jean-Pierre had her Sideshow Bob style hairdo re-twisted before she went into the press briefing room. Some say it got twisted a little too tight.

That’s the only explanation for her stunning announcement. It seems that National Security simply has to take a back seat to the priority of keeping Donald Trump out of the White House.

On Tuesday, July 2, Jean-Pierre bounced perkily up to the podium to inform the voting public that “Joe Biden will not take a cognitive test and does not have Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.” We’re supposed to take her word for it.

Nobody in the regime officially wants to admit that Joe’s campaign is DOA already. His family convinced him to bluff it out because, if he doesn’t, Trump’s going to have half the family sent to Guantanamo.

One reporter dared to quiz the propaganda minister if there has been “any consideration given to releasing a more robust set of medical records or something to show his mental acuity?” His handlers say that won’t be necessary. “His team has said it is not warranted in this case.

His doctor signed full medical approval for Joe Biden already. “We have put forward a thorough, transparent annual report on his health. So they have said that is not warranted. It is not necessary.” The Pooh Bear hears that and grins. Taiwan will be “re-unified” in no time.

Panic stricken Democrat donors are frantically trying to draft Michelle Obama as his replacement.

Fit for duty

Over and over again, Jean-Pierre was forced to circle back to February’s report. She patiently repeated that Biden’s personal physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, found Joe Biden “continues to be fit for duty and fully executes all of his responsibilities without any exemptions or accommodations.

Just give him a dish of Ben & Jerry’s and he’ll sign anything you stick in front of him. He can still read a teleprompter just fine and only wanders off a little way from gatherings of government leaders.

Several members of the press refused to drink the Kool-Aid. They kept asking things like, “if a new test or physical was necessary following what happened at the debate.” Jean-Pierre had a simple answer. “No.

His doctor said he’s fine, didn’t you hear what I just said? Biden “has regular annual physicals that we release and a thorough report. We’re going to continue to do that.” He’s not getting his mental acuity checked out separately.

When another outlet quizzed if Biden “has Alzheimer’s, dementia, or any other form of degenerative illness that might cause mental lapses.” Jean-Pierre responded with a testy roll of her eyes. “I have an answer for you: Are you ready for it? It’s a no. And I hope you’re asking the other guy the same exact question.

Trump did take a cognitive test and passed with flying colors. Office betting pools are circulating with the date and time of Michelle Obama’s announcement that she’s biting the bullet to save democracy, by standing in for Joe Biden. Totally against her will, of course.

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