In case of a nuclear attack, you can rest assured that we have a secret response team. They won’t be a whole lot of help if World War III breaks out. Even so, for anything short of that, they have us covered. Not that the public needs any reassurance or anything, our officials claim. They simply decided to use the 50th anniversary of the response team’s creation to remind everyone they’re still around.
Nuclear Emergency Response
Members of the top-secret Nuclear Emergency Response Team are people with important day jobs, who spend their spare time “training for a radiological contamination scenario.” They’ve been lurking in the shadows for half a century now.
You probably never heard of them but they’re our “first line of defense” against atomic emergencies.
Their headquarters is located at Joint Base Andrews, which lies a stones throw from the Capitol for convenience. When “one of the government’s most secretive groups gathered recently to celebrate its 50th anniversary” things got spooky right from the start. The brass wasn’t happy about letting the press have even a little peak at our nuclear secrets.
“Though there were drinks, cake and speeches, right from the start, it was clear this was not an ordinary birthday party.”
Rick Christensen, director of nuclear incident response for the NNSA, launched the festivities with a disclaimer. “Please note that this is an unclassified event, so please understand that there is a lot that our people are not going to be able to discuss.”
The gathering was small, granted access to a small space filled with folding chairs near the helicopter hanger. Not near enough to see any of the gear they load in.
Volunteers with security clearance
NEST works directly under the National Nuclear Security Administration and it isn’t a military unit. “It’s made primarily of people who work elsewhere in the government.” All sorts of “scientists, federal law enforcement personnel, and regulators.” They’re all available as volunteers to respond to an incident on demand. Volunteers with “high-level security clearances.” They prefer to keep a low profile.
NEST helicopters were circling Three Mile Island when one of it’s reactors almost had a China Syndrome meltdown. They didn’t attract attention because they aren’t black. “We didn’t even want them dark gray because they look military,” Jay Tilden with the DOE relates. “We wanted to be very distinct. We’re a civil agency and when those aircraft are flying they’re flying largely for a public health and safety mission.”
Everything that NEST does is classified. Partly because it’s all related to nuclear weapons and terrorism but mostly “because it doesn’t want to alarm people.” They go to work a lot more often than the public will ever know about. With the Pentagon waiting for Iran, China, or Russia to pull something atomically nasty, “the group is trying to be slightly more open about its mission.”
Back in 1974 “a person going by the name ‘Captain Midnight‘ threatened to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in Boston unless they were paid $200,000.” The feds rounded up a suitcase full of counterfeit cash and left it at the drop point. It was never collected and deemed a hoax.
That was a really good thing because “government scientists from the nation’s nuclear weapons laboratories rushed to an airbase near Boston, but missed flights and problems with their equipment meant they never actually entered the city.” It was enough to terrify Gerald Ford into action. Probably the only one he took as president, other than pardoning Nixon. The Department of Energy runs NEST and Wendin Smith serves as Deputy Under Secretary for Counterterrorism and Counterproliferation there. She was proud to note “we are always ready, 24-7, and always prepared to deploy.”
She also “hopes talking more openly about the mission might help people feel more assured, as well as deter adversaries who may be out to cause nuclear mayhem.” Local police once detected “a radioactive puddle in a fast food parking lot somewhere in America.” It turned out to be from a person taking radioactive medicine. “If somebody doesn’t use a public restroom and happens to alleviate their need in a parking lot, then that can cause a troubled signature if there is indeed an isotope, a medical isotope involved.” They were on scene to do the investigation.