Conservative Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts knows he represents a state full of American-flag waving, gun toting carnivores. Folks who love to kill things just so they can cover them in barbecue sauce. He gave them their own holiday celebration. Starting this Saturday, every March 20 will now be “Meat on the Menu Day.”
Meat celebration endorsed by ‘PETA’
Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts called on every PETA member in the state to embrace “Meat on the Menu Day.” His People Eating Tasty Animals constituents are planning to re-elect him in a landslide. Next door, in left-leaning Colorado, the celery crunchers get nightmares from the thought of eating anything that might have had a consciousness.
Nebraska citizens don’t believe for a minute that it gives liberals the right to ban meat for a day in symbolic protest. Meat is something which calls for a celebration, American carnivores agree.
The wussy vegan Governor of Colorado, Jared Polis, issued a proclamation declaring meat to be a “direct attack on our way of life” and demands citizens to “voluntarily” give up meat for at least one day each week. In Nebraska, Pete Ricketts heard that and headed to the butcher shop to plan a celebration.
Surrounding himself with “top officials from Nebraska’s meat, agricultural, and restaurant industries on Monday,” he counter-declared that when Colorado celebrates “MeatOut Day,” Nebraska will recognize “Meat on the Menu Day” this Saturday.
At the news conference announcing his celebration of flavorful flesh, Ricketts pointed out that “meat is the state’s largest industry.” The Associated Press admits that it “generates $21 billion each year.”
What the fruitarian liberals are trying to do is “a direct attack on our way of life here in Nebraska” he thundered. Liberals whine that their “MeatOut Day” is only a way to “encourage non-vegetarians to consider a plant-based diet.” Plants are great, for seasoning the meat with, and as side dishes.
A billboard in protest
Meat was already a big cause for celebration in Nebraska. They already have May designated as “Beef Month” and they sell “Beef State” license plates.
As Governor Ricketts notes, getting rid of beef “would be undermining our food security.” The transgender types at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are still having a snit.
“MeatOut Day” is SUPPOSED to be the celebration, they scream. They will be putting up a billboard on the Colorado side of the border with Nebraska. It will warn progressives that they will be “Entering Nebraska, Home of Meathead Governor Ricketts!” They’re still steamed that he usurped their holiday.
“It’s a “laudable effort to reduce the consumption of animals, do a little something to protect the environment, and enhance public health.” Others call it masochism.
Those sick and twisted lentil lickers are terrified of a governor who opposes “the vegan future” enough to create a celebration of the meat industry.
People in Nebraska actually enjoy eating something which once frisked and frolicked in the field. Liberals, on the other hand, think Darwin’s theory of evolution was debunked by Karl Marx and Saul Alinsky.