Republican

Republican Has Epiphany about Trump

Alleged Republican J.D. Vance had one of those “aha!” moments called an epiphany. He suddenly woke up to the inescapable conclusion that RINOs are no longer welcome at the party. If he expects to have any chance at all of winning an Ohio Senate seat in 2022, he needs to act like a conservative.

Republican cleans up his act

RINO Republican J.D. Vance has suddenly gone into damage control mode, starting by deleting an old but controversial social media post where he called Once and Future President Donald Trump “reprehensible.” He apologized for it but conservative constituents won’t let him live it down.

With all the news headlines about how popular Trump is, even in exile, Vance decided he better act fast. “If I actually care about these people… I need to just suck it up and support him,” Vance waffled. He apparently doesn’t “actually care” about his conservative voters but knows he has to at least “act” like he likes Trump or they will chase him out of town.

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He knows he can’t compete with honest Republican conservatives like Jim Jordan, so he makes the best of it. He grins and chuckles and hopes to get away with the “I’m only human” approach.

The conservative families living in Ohio wonder if that’s true too. There might be one of those shape-shifting reptilians under the makeup. “I’m not just a flip-flopper, I’m a flip-flop-flipper on Trump.” So long, and thanks for all the fish.

One thing has been totally verified. Vance knows how to read the poll numbers. There is no doubt about it that Donald Trump is “the leader of this movement.”

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He thinks every Republican will forget all about the time he tapped out to the twits who followed his random thoughts that “Trump’s treatment of Muslims and immigrants” was so totally “reprehensible” that Vance could not possibly vote for him. Now, he sings a different tune.

Vance regrets being wrong

A Faux News host grilled Vance mercilessly about his Republican In Name Only proclivities until he couldn’t take any more and exploded. Okay, he exclaimed, “I regret being wrong about the guy.” You bet he regrets it. That remark could cost him an election. No matter what he said before, he wants to get elected so he’s taking it back.

“I think he was a good president,” Vance waffled. “I think he made a lot of good decisions for people, and I think he took a lot of flak.” All of that was true but he still thinks Muslims got a raw deal. He just won’t say that again until after he’s sworn in.

Vance made a big deal of being in compliance with the requirement of a pilgrimage to Florida for Trump’s blessing. “Vance reportedly visited Trump at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida shortly before announcing that he would be running for Ohio’s senate seat.”

Republican Rob Portman will be retiring so the job is up for grabs. Trump hasn’t committed to supporting any candidate for the Ohio Senate race yet. Whoever the GOP nominates, is expected to face off against Democrat Tim Ryan.

Vance admits he underestimated the power of Donald Trump’s personal charisma. He half-heartedly explains that “he understood Trump’s ticket back in 2016, but thought he wasn’t serious.”

Vance “sort of got Trump’s issues from the beginning. I just thought that this guy was not serious and was not going to be able to really make progress on the issues I cared about.” At least he acknowledges that since he’s registered as a Republican, he should at least act like one.

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