bullets

Breaking: Dozens of Bullets Fired Into Senator’s Home

Bullets were flying thick and fast around 5 a.m. on Thursday morning, July 1. That’s when neighbors woke up to gunfire, as 23 rounds were fired directly at the home of an Alabama Senator. Police are digging deep into the drive-by shooting. The Senator wasn’t home at the time and a lot of folks are wondering if maybe that’s not a coincidence.

A message with bullets

It seems that someone is trying to send Senator Vivian Davis Figures a message. They wanted to send the very best, so someone personally delivered a gift of lead bullets right to her doorstep. Figures may be a Democrat but the LGBTQ+ crowd is still be having a snit about one of her recent votes.

The big problems with the theory that the gay mafia is behind the shooting are that it happened all the way back in April and the poofs aren’t usually known for packing weapons. If it was them behind the attack, they would have used rainbow colors of silly string.

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A Neighbor of Figures in the Mobile, Alabama, suburb tells local news that “I heard shots ring out and I laid there for a few seconds, but I didn’t know whether if I jumped up quick, that a bullet or something may come through the window.” Eventually though, curiosity won. “I looked out of all the windows to see if I could see anybody walking around or driving but I didn’t see nothing. Just heard the shots.”

The woman never had to worry about stray bullets before and she’s been on that same street in Toulminville for 41 years now. She says she “can’t understand why someone would target Senator Figures.” Nobody else is real sure of an answer to that either.

“She’s a good neighbor. It’s terrifying! Right in your own backyard or right on your same street.”

This is the first time Figures has seen this much controversy and she’s “been a member of the state Senate since 1997.” She was also conveniently not at home when the bullets started whizzing around.

Not a ‘random’ act

Lt. Christopher Levy with the Mobile Police Department assures the community that “no one was harmed as a result of the gun shots.” The bullets were all aimed at the Senator’s house. About the only thing that police are certain about is the attack “does not appear to be a random act.” They’re staying quiet for now about why they think it was planned. Levy also notes that “they haven’t been able to determine if it was motivated by the senator’s political stances.”

Nobody left any Antifa® brand calling cards saying Black Lives Matter™ was here. Then again she’s supposed to be on their side. Except, she’s a “DINO.” Democrats are getting a taste of their own medicine with the “centrist” conservative sleeper cells infiltrating their ranks.

Police are allegedly searching for whoever supplied the bullets to decorate the Senator’s home with. For now, the only disgruntled constituents she has are the rainbow types.

All the way back in April, which is a lifetime ago in the political world, “Figures was censured by the state Democratic Party’s LGBTQ+ Caucus for backing bill would effectively ban transgender athletes from playing sports of the sex with which they identify. Matthew Brown, chair of the LGBTQ+ Caucus, was outraged but not bad enough to hire a hit.

In an interview, Brown whined about “a lot of outrage and feelings of betrayal from LGBTQ Democrats around the state.” She had them all stamping their feet when she voted to kill their transgender sports bill.

She just couldn’t cope with “the impact it could have on transgender youth. Particularly now with mental health, with COVID and everything else, we don’t need to add another layer of that on these children.” Other than that, she hasn’t been in the news for years. Her twitter account is hardly used and that’s mostly for the occasional re-tweet. The hail of random bullets could be another of those Jussie Smollett type hoaxes aimed at boosting the PR rating of a lame duck Senator.

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