FEMA

FEMA Warns of Nuclear Fallout With Weird Advice

Before we’re all bathed in nuclear fire, FEMA wants to make sure you remember to social distance and double mask. With a hysterical media and political class turning the unthinkable into a valid option, the threat of a nuclear apocalypse is greater than it has been at any point since the end of the cold war. FEMA, in response, has updated its nuclear explosion guidelines to include a reminder to social distance if our unhinged leaders decide to start flinging warheads around the globe.

FEMA reminds us to make it a socially distanced nuclear holocaust

Americans are so used to hearing about “existential” threats and dangers being found in climate change or racism that we’ve forgotten how serious that word is to the rest of the planet.

When Russian President Vladimir Putin described NATO’s posturing as an “existential” threat to his country, he wasn’t playing around with hyperbole.

It’s extremely fitting that FEMA is trying to fit Covid into its nuclear advice, given that the pandemic was treated with similar hysteria and hyperbole when it first appeared in China.

The pandemic did not turn out to be an apocalyptic plague that killed everything it touched; no amount of exaggerated panic talk could have changed the lethality of a virus.

In this case, the decision to unleash a third world war would be entirely human. The FEMA statement is humorous because it’s completely unnecessary if the thing happens; we’re all dead regardless if our leaders make enough stupid decisions.

Our government is responding to Putin’s dire warnings by remind us to not huddle together for comfort in our last moments if the nukes begin to fly, while it barely attempts to deescalate the crisis.

World war three not so unthinkable now

In theory there should be no chance of a nuclear apocalypse in this situation; we’ve spent decades now looking back with relief and some bemusement at the terror the world had to endure while the Cold war was still going.

Rational people would not risk anything that could bring us back to that point, but reactions to this war have been no less irrational than early reactions to the pandemic.

We’ve seen a rabid “cancel culture” response to the government of a major power; what happens when the eternal liberal demand that we “do something” meets the realization that words and indignation on the internet won’t stop a military offensive?

FEMA updated its nuclear instructions because we’ve already seen the consequences of these responses. Western politicians are listening to the overwhelming social media outcry and making their suggestions accordingly.

Putin elevated his nation’s nuclear threat level as a warning for politicians demanding that NATO implement a no fly zone or try to force a regime change in Moscow, both actions which would likely mean world war three.

Hopefully the threat of an actual nuclear exchange remains low, but if our decrepit political class embraces hysterical demands that we go to war against Putin, Russia’s unsurpassed nuclear arsenal might just be deployed to put an end to the “existential threat” in the west.

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