The beltway analysts were on high alert while hard working Americans who are barely surviving financially had no idea how closely they dodged a bullet by. In the Senate those $1,400 stimulus checks, which everyone thought were in the bag, were nearly torpedoed by a few dissident DINOs.
Alert over DINO holdouts
The Senate barely managed to open debate on the $1.9 trillion coronavirus relief bill. Just when every American thought their checks were in the bag, the Senate scrambled a red alert.
It turned out that there was still another last minute hurdle to jump over. Renegade DINO holdouts who needed to be rounded up and whipped into line with the rest of the Democrats.
The Democrats’ dirty little secret is that not all of their members were ready to drink the Kool-Aid. A few were ready to side with the Republicans. This time, the shoe was on the other foot.
It was the conservative side displaying shoulder to shoulder unity and Democrats blocking the vote by acting like traitors. The only thing which prevented panic was that news of the horrifying alert was contained until after His Wisdom signed the bill.
By Thursday evening, Democrats managed to beat their balky members into submission and get their votes. Not one single Republican voted for the measure, not even Mitt Romney.
The Democrats were hoping to pressure Lisa Murkowski into voting with the blue team but she declined, this time. Their biggest headache was Democrats who thought that the Republicans were right this time. Red alert doesn’t begin to describe what happened to Nancy Pelosi’s blood pressure when she heard the news.
Vice Empress breaks the tie
The Senate vote came down to a straight 50-50 split along party lines. That gave Vice Empress Kamala Harris a chance to use her coveted tie-breaking ability and open the floor debate.
Beltway analysts were astounded at what happened and sounded the alert because if that was what it took just to get debate open then there was a serious chance that the hard fought deal could go down in flames at the very last minute.
Once everyone realized that not a single RINO was going to help them out on this one, Democrats expected “hours of debate and an amendment free-for-all that could drag into the weekend.” Thankfully it didn’t.
Despite the high-alert and Cuban missile crisis tension on Capitol Hill, the legislation managed to pass the Senate. Nancy Pelosi started breathing again.
The alert was canceled as the Senate approved package was rushed to the House for final approval.
Nancy already had her end of the deal all stitched up so it was only a matter of moments before the same courier was off to the Palace to deliver the final product to His Wisdom for signature. Imperial Leader Joe Biden gave it his autograph and direct deposits are due to start hitting bank accounts this weekend.