Rocket

Chinese Rocket Launches Unexpectedly Then Crashes Into Mountain

Things didn’t go real well with a Chinese rocket test on Sunday. It wasn’t supposed to launch at all but accidentally did. After that, it crashed spectacularly into the side of a nearby mountain. Nobody was harmed because the locals had been cleared out before the mishap. The Pooh Bear appears to have his own Boeing-like problems with improperly installed bolts in safety-critical places.

Unscheduled rocket Blastoff

The Chinese are spinning what happened on Sunday, June 30, to downplay the rocket crash. One of their Tianlong-3 models wasn’t supposed to leave the launch pad. All the engineers were doing was a ground test of the propulsion system.

They had the booster firmly bolted down, or so they thought. To cover up any mistake on the part of the CCP, they claim their booster simply worked better than expected.

Communist scientists have been going head-to-head with Elon Musk in an attempt to reverse engineer his Falcon 9. Only part of the rocket was loaded up on the launch pad, the first stage booster.

Onlookers were totally surprised when the booster ripped loose and headed skyward.

Astonished officials allowed the errant and unguided rocket to gain a little altitude for safety, then remotely killed the engines.

It smashed down harmlessly on the side of a nearby mountain as firefighting crews scrambled to extinguish their still blazing launcher.

Only part of the rocket was loaded up on the launch pad, the first stage booster.

Structural failure to blame

The Chinese rocket isn’t entirely a government project. It’s technically owned by a “private Chinese business” called Space Pioneer.

They selected a “hilly area near the city of Gongyi in Henan Province” for the site of their launches and tests. According to Chinese state media, “no casualties had been reported.

It was clear that somebody botched something because the routine “static fire” of the booster stage was never intended as a launch.

Space Pioneer admits that a “structural failure” of “the launch moorings designed to hold the rocket in place resulted in a surprise launch.” It was a surprise alright. Especially to the nearby inhabitants who weren’t sure if it would fall on any of their homes.

Everything was totally under control, the company assures. “after the misfire the onboard computer shut down the rocket.” Newton’s laws of physics brought the mass of metal hurtling into a crater “1.5km from the test site.

Authorities note it crashed “far away from the urban area of Gongyi.” Contradicting that, “videos on social media from the city showed stunned residents filming the rocket dramatically plunging to earth.

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