Kamala Harris ROASTED

Vice-Empress Kamala Harris seems to be so baked she can’t tell North from South, heading off to solve the border crisis in New Hampshire. She’s rumored to have a personal stash of one Jamaican strain that’s so potent you can hear music from the future but it’s obvious that the last place she wants to be is Central America. The GOP is totally roasting her for it on Twitter.

Kamala visits wrong border

Monday’s official schedule for America’s alleged second in command calls for the long avoided trip to Guatemala where she’ll be entertained by the banana republic’s El Presidente, Alejandro Giammattei, in true Latin American style.

Kamala isn’t happy about it. She’s not certain that Joe Biden isn’t up to something sneaky to get rid of her before she has a chance to do him in and take his job. At this point though, she would much rather be in the Northern Triangle and ducking machetes than touring El Paso.

Kamala barely made it out of New Hampshire. The Republican party there was relentless about her scheduled visit to the “wrong border.” She’s avoiding El Paso like it’s infected with Ebola.

The only thing in store for her there are photos of the Vice-Empress surrounded by cages full of individually-foil-wrapped unaccompanied migrant kids waiting for the next bus into the heartland of America. It’s not a crisis though, they planned it this way.

She doesn’t like when she gets called the border’s “overseer” because that reminds everyone of the plantations in her family history, where they were the ones holding the whips. That’s why liberals started calling her Biden’s Border Czar. Proletarian repression is much more her style.

The palace has been taking a lot of heat for the huge “migrant crisis” of a border invasion and Kamala Harris got stuck with job of explaining the surge while carefully doing nothing to stop it. At least not until someone else gets stuck with it down the road. Make it “somebody else’s problem,” like El Presidente for instance, her handlers advised.

Serving the country better

On Friday, the New Hampshire branch of the GOP tweeted out that the country would “be better served if she visited the southern border.” Instead, Harris wanted to “campaign for Democratic Sen. Maggie Hassan.”

The official account posted “Welcome to the #WrongBorder, VP Kamala Harris! As you travel over 2,300 miles away from El Paso, our country would be better served with an official visit to our southern border, not a campaign trip for Maggie Hassan.”

Kamala

Chairman Stephen Stepanek really twisted the knife in a statement. He slammed Kamala for her last visit to the Granite State in 2019, when she told her followers that “she was committed to fixing the ‘inhumane’ activities towards our country’s southern border.” Flash forward two years and she’s causing it.

“Now Harris returns almost two years later, but how will she answer to these same individuals, while blatantly ignoring the crisis she’s been specifically charged to handle?,” he rhetorically asked. “Granite Stater’s don’t want another photo-op, they want strong leadership and accountability.”

Kamala Harris intends to shift the blame to the jungle communities overrun by narco-cartels, guerrilla rebels and Mara Salvatrucha. It’s all their fault, she insists. They’re the “root causes” of the problem. “We also have to deal with the root causes, otherwise we are just in a perpetual system of only dealing with the symptoms.” You deal with symptoms by covering them up with dope.

Harris “participated in a roundtable with the Northern Triangle countries Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras to address issues of poverty, the climate and corruption.” She brought her stash and is hoping everyone will forget all about asking Uncle Sam for military help to teach the police how to act like police instead of guards for the smugglers.

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